Alfa Romeo 4C Features: Efficiency 3

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Original

alfa efficiency 3 original

My Version

alfa efficiency 3 changed

What’s Different

I rather liked the original, but the first line made me cringe a little. Ratios do involve numbers. Saying otherwise is a bit silly. Giving a more active headline helps set a theme for the brief message.

Larger text in a narrower block does make my text look wordier, but it’s slightly shorter. Again, shorter sentences are employed to pack more punch into each morsel of information.

Keeping the references towards speed and handling, I also briefly mentioned the obvious fuel economy improvement that comes with dropping weight. It was remarkable enough for Top Gear (one of the most viewed TV shows in the world) to get excited about it, so it’s definitely worth including. Mentioning that the low weight is a result of engineering makes it sound a bit more special than the original message does.

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