Note: To view larger versions of the images, simply click them and magnify. Click “Back” on your browser to exit full screen view. Explanation of changes can be found beneath images.
Changes made focus mostly on eliminating excessive information, lengthy sentences and clunky language. “Essential Beauty” seemed like a tag that didn’t really say anything.
My version retains the historical reference to the Tipo 33 Stradale, but differentiates itself by noting that it boasts modern performance. Assuming that the client wanted mention made of the fact that the 4C was built at the Maserati factory in Torino (Turin), both brands are mentioned alongside their locations. Being shorter and more effectively written makes it easier to remember and process.
As the car boasts complex artistic design and technology, referring to it as “art” instead of repeatedly calling it “beautiful” carries a greater impact. Art and beauty are often applied interchangeably, so switching them allows for improved rhetorical flexibility while decreasing the need for pointless repetition.
Only four words long, “Art just got fast” is catchier and more memorable than the original closing line.
As usual, the font type and change has been altered to improve visibility while still making good use of screen space. The alignment format is subject to change.